“Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart.” 1 Peter 1:22

On Sunday, Pastor Larry ministered on the importance of relationships in the first instalment of the Family Matters series. Here is a breakdown of the most important points from which we can learn. Make sure not to miss the rest of this interesting and life-changing series. See you at our Sunday services. Now, let’s get closer to God.

[Watch the Sermon on Youtube Here]

It’s your relationship with God that matters. When you build on that foundation, you will experience that His love is constant. It’s the one relationship you can trust.

1 Corinthians 13 tells us that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”

How often do we hold that scripture against our loved ones, because they are not patient, kind, and so forth? Pastor Larry explained that the scripture actually tells us who God is.

God is patient and kind, does not boast or envy. When we develop a deep and true relationship with God, that love is reflected in our Earthly relationships.

When our human relationships are built upon the Rock, and lived out in the right context, they will bring fulfilment, because they will be a reflection of God’s love.

Father & Son: A Family Relationship

John 3:16 explains not only the relationship between our Heavenly Father and His Son, but also the sacrificial context of this love:

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Our Heavenly Father gave us His only begotten Son because Love GIVES.

In our Earthly lives, we often wonder how we can get the most out of our relationships, rather than thinking what we can give.

When we don’t get what we want from our relationships, we start to condemn our loved ones. Why can’t they just do what we want them to do?

John 3:17: “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him.” 

God loves; He doesn’t condemn. So when you love by His standards, there’s more love and no condemnation.

When we put God first and use His measure for love, a supernatural shift occurs inside of us. As a result, our Earthly relationships shift as well. It sets a new standard for these relationships, which level up as a consequence. LOVE abounds!

Sometimes, Family Relationships are a Pain

There’s no such thing as the perfect earthly relationship. We’re all human, with human differences and iniquities. Perhaps you no longer communicate with your family. The good news is that you have a church family, and you have a true family in Christ.

God is your Heavenly Father and He accepts us, flaws and all. By creating a true relationship and connection with Him, you can allow Him to mould you and you can learn to “love one another with a pure heart”. (1 Peter 1:22).

When you give your life to Him, you are born again and your spirit is rendered blameless. Your sin is removed from you as far as the East is from the West.

Of course, it takes time to let go of negative patterns that lead to sin; and it can take time to make that shift. You typically have to work at it. Lean into God and He will give you the strength to do what you have to do from your side. Be patient, and nurture your relationship with God. Soon you will see that biblical love and mercy covers any resentment and anger.

Part of letting go of negative patterns could include getting rid of habits and relationships that are not beneficial to you. You might go through a lonely time. But when you replace it with love and a true connection with Him, God will align you with the people and opportunities that create an atmosphere for success.

Your connection and authentic relationship with God will help nurture your Earthly relationships to align with His will for your life.

Warning: The bad news is that Satan also introduces seemingly perfect relationships and circumstances into your life. By remaining grounded in God’s love, you will have the discernment you need to either avoid or handle these.

Look at Jesus’ circle of friends, for example. His very own disciple, Peter, betrayed him.

Jesus asked Peter three times whether he loved him. When Jesus speaks about love, he speaks of Agapè love (Agapè love is a total commitment and self-sacrificial devotion). Three times, Peter said yes. But he was speaking about Phileo love (personal affection, as for a friend).

But Jesus knew that. That’s why, on the night before he was crucified, Jesus warned Peter, “Truly I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times” (Matthew 26:34).

Peter answered, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never deny you” (Matthew 26:35).As you know, Peter denied Christ, three times.

Humans will disappoint you, lie to or about you, and betray you…But by abiding in God’s Agapè love, you will be able to handle and forgive these situations when they happen.

Hierarchy of Relationships

When asked about the most important commandment, Jesus explains in Matthew 22:37-39. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’

That scripture explains the hierarchy of relationships—

#1 Your Relationship with God

This is your most important relationship. It lays a foundation for all other relationships. If you don’t love God, you won’t be able to love human beings with total devotion and commitment (Agapè), because God is love. But how do we actually do this? Spend time with God in prayer, silence, and supplication. Read and study His word. 

#2 Relationship with Yourself

If your Earthly relationships are tumultuous, it’s time to take a good look in the mirror. What’s your relationship with yourself like, honestly?

Become aware of your own weaknesses and flaws so that you know how they are affecting your relationships with yourself and others. We tend to be blind to our own flaws, and that can hamper relationships with loved ones.

Love yourself, like yourself, but guard against becoming self-righteous or narcissistic.

#3 Relationships with People

The second part of the scripture tells us to “love your neighbour as you love yourself.”

If you don’t love your neighbour, do you really love God? Remember, our love for our neighbours is an expression of our love for our Creator.

This brings us to another question—

Who is my neighbour?

It’s easy to love nice neighbours, but it’s harder to love the guy who always complains, or taxi drivers… Or is it?

Let’s consider who our neighbours really are:

Neighbour #1—Your spouse

Ephesians 5:22-23 states, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.”

Your spouse is your number one priority. God’s word says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24).”

Becoming one flesh with another person can be an absolute pain in the flesh. God put Adam to sleep to take one of his ribs to create Woman.

This relationship is as important as your relationship with yourself, as you are now one flesh. You share Agapè love.

Neighbour #2—Your children

A family that is run according to God’s design for the family, will reflect God’s sacrificial love. So love your children well, pray for them, and lead them in God’s truth. The husband is the head of the family, and sets the direction for them. The wife reflects God’s nurturing, creative spirit in creating a home.

Neighbour #3—Your friends, church friends, community, actual neighbours…

Next in line of priority, is your extended family and your church family. This would be your parents, your grandkids, your in-laws, your extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins and the like.

To conclude

We are all part of the family of Christ, and we all need each other to complete each other, according to the hierarchy explained in the Word of God. We are called to love one another as He loved us.

Therefore, submit your will to God’s will, love one another the way He first loved us, and “… we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

We look forward to what God reveals to us through the rest of the series, which concludes during Encounter Weekend, between 4-6 October.

Let us pray

Lord, grant me the eyes of Jesus to see those around me as You do. May Your work be accomplished through my life in theirs. Fill me with love and patience for the irritable, tenderness for the wounded, and courage for those who await Your Good News. Use me as a vessel to help others reveal Your glory in their lives. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen