When Pastor Mandy spoke about covenant vs contract on Sunday, it got me thinking about how we often confuse the two. A covenant is deeply spiritual, grounded in love and sacrifice. On the other hand, a contract is transactional and temporary. In our modern world people easily break contracts. That is why you must understand that God’s idea of relationships—especially marriage—is built on a covenant, not a contract.
God has always expressed His love through covenants. From Adam and Eve to Abraham and Sarah, and even the ultimate covenant through Jesus Christ, God has shown that His love and commitment are eternal, unbreakable, and filled with grace. This brings us to the powerful distinction between a covenant and a contract. How does it affect our marriage and relationships?
“I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David.” – Isaiah 55:3
What Is a Covenant?
A covenant is a sacred agreement, often sealed in blood. It goes beyond any written contract because it involves the heart, soul, and a lifelong commitment. Biblically, covenants can’t be broken—whether between God and humanity or between a husband and wife.
Genesis 2:24 reminds us, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Here, God establishes the marriage covenant—something sacred that cannot be undone. Just like God’s covenant with His people, the marriage covenant requires trust, surrender, and sacrifice.
On the other hand, contracts can be cancelled. They are made when two parties don’t trust each other entirely, often to protect their individual interests. In the world, contracts are temporary—designed to expire when the terms aren’t met.
The Covenant of Marriage | Sacrifice and Surrender
In a covenant, especially one ordained by God, both partners commit to sacrificing for each other. The world tells us to “look out for number one,” but God asks us to serve one another.
The key elements of a marriage covenant are beautifully summed up in three Cs: Courage, Commitment, and Communication.
- Courage: Marriage requires bravery. We need to trust God’s plan, even when it’s hard.
- Commitment: A covenant is for life, a journey of dedication and love.
- Communication: Just as we must continually talk to God, communication between spouses is key.
“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12
Jesus modelled this covenant love for us. In the Garden of Gethsemane, when He sweated blood for us, it was an act of faithful love (Luke 22:44). His blood absorbed our unfaithfulness and covered our sins. In marriage, we are called to be like Christ, laying down our lives for each other, just as He did for us.
Want to know more about building your relationships on God’s covenant? Watch the full sermon here and discover how to live in God’s promises today.
Building Relationships on the Rock
In Matthew 7:24-27, Jesus shares a powerful parable about building on the rock versus building on the sand. A marriage founded on God—our rock—will stand firm through life’s storms. If we choose to build on worldly principles, which are like shifting sand, our relationships will crumble.
A contract, just like sand, can be washed away. But a covenant rooted in God’s promises will endure. The storms will come, but God will strengthen our bond. I’ve seen this time and time again in my own life, and it’s a truth we all need to hold onto.
Biblical Examples of Covenant Love
The Bible is full of examples of couples who lived in covenant relationships—relationships that weren’t perfect but were strengthened by God.
- Adam and Eve: The first couple, despite their fall into sin, showed the importance of sticking together through trials.
- Abraham and Sarah: Their faith in God’s covenant promise gave them a son, even in old age. They showed that God’s timing is perfect.
- Hosea and Gomer: Gomer’s unfaithfulness mirrored our struggles with sin. Yet, Hosea’s unwavering love reflected God’s endless grace toward us.
These stories teach us that relationships will have challenges, but when founded on God’s covenant, we can find redemption, healing, and strength.
The New Covenant in Christ
“For if by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ!” – Romans 5:17
God made many covenants with His people throughout the Bible. The Noahic covenant, the Abrahamic covenant, and the Davidic covenant all pointed toward His faithfulness. But each of these was ultimately broken by man. That’s why God had to establish a new covenant—one rooted in mercy and grace through Jesus.
Hebrews 8:6 tells us that Jesus “has obtained a more excellent ministry, by how much also He is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises.” This new covenant is available to all of us. Through Jesus, we are no longer bound by our sins but are invited to walk in freedom and grace.
Full Surrender in a Covenant
Living in covenant with God means fully surrendering to His will, even in our relationships. This surrender brings peace and unity. When we try to control things ourselves, we fall into pride, fear, and insecurity. But when we trust God, we can live in the freedom of His promises.
“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” – Colossians 3:3
Letting Go of the Past
One of the things Pastor Tony spoke about a few weeks ago was the need to let go of the past. Old hurts, anger, and fear can weigh us down. They become obstacles in our relationships. They cause us to doubt God’s promises. If we don’t deal with these roots of sin, we risk passing them on to the next generation.
The following can destroy relationships:
- Anger: Often rooted in a sense of loss.
- Jealousy: A sign of insecurity.
- Fear: Usually rooted in pride or rejection.
We need to live from God’s perspective. His plans for our relationships are full of peace, love, and joy. When we fully surrender to Him, He heals those areas that hold us back from experiencing the fullness of His covenant.
“For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” – Colossians 3:3
Final Thoughts | Covenant vs Contract
If you’re struggling in your marriage or relationships, I encourage you to pray and invite God into your covenant. It takes courage and commitment, but with Christ as the foundation, you can rebuild and strengthen what the world calls impossible.
Take a moment today to reflect on whether your marriage or relationship is built on covenant love or if it resembles more of a contract. Remember, a covenant requires full surrender—just like Jesus showed us on the cross.
For more insights, check this episode in the sermon series on Family Matters here.
Prayer for Marriages
Lord, I pray for every marriage and relationship. Help us to live in the fullness of Your covenant love. Teach us to sacrifice, surrender, and serve one another, just as Christ did for us. Heal any brokenness and remind us daily of the promises You’ve made. Let Your love flow through us, and may our marriages reflect Your glory. Amen.
Quick Takeaways
- Covenants are spiritual agreements that cannot be broken.
- Contracts are temporary and conditional.
- Marriage is designed to be a covenant of love, sacrifice, and service.
- Jesus’ sacrifice established a new, everlasting covenant of grace.
